Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
