Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
