whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
