I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
