It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
