omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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