What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
this beer tastes like vomit already
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
