I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
