pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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