You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
