it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
