its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
