i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
