i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
