i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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