Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
