What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
