I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My legs feel like baby dolphins
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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