How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
