We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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