My Higher Power is John Stamos
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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