last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
