# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
