Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Randomize
