Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
where am i from again
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
