There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
