im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Why is there bacon in the couch?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
