Ambien. No doubt about it.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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