Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
