It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize