just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
