Pappa wants mamma naked
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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