Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
