yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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