Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize