dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
