we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
