gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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