I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
