So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
