I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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