she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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