You smell like a Billy Joel song
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The uberlube is also flammable
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
