Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
