only if we run a train.
done.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
