im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
