i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
