Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
