Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have surprise drugs for everyone
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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