I want to stick my p in your. b.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
