new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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