His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
he's gonorrhea incarnate
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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