I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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