watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
