Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
