i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
