And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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