is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
