So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
