and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I look better un-naked...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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