you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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