Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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