How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So I just went to clothing optional bar
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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