Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
one might say we're banned from that church
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
