But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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