my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I fill condoms, not promises.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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