How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
