So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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